Uncategorized

THE POWER OF NOW – PART 1

Can you be free of your mind ?

Beginning of freedom is realisation that you are not the thinker .

 

The moment you start watching the thinker

Thought is only a tiny bit part of the intelligence

Everything that truly matters arises from beyond the mind .

1. Watching the thinker :

Virtually everyone hears a lot of voices in your head .

Monologues and dialogues in your mind you think you can’t control .

The voice complaints .

The voice is your conditioned mind – collection of your past history , inherited conditioning .

Many people live with the tormenter in their head , its the cause of disease .

Start listening to the voice in your head and notice the recurring ideas , be there witnessing present . Listen to the voice impartially . Do not judge or contempt what you listen to . There’s the voice , here I AM listening to it .

When you listen to the thought you are aware not only of the thought , and you as the listener of the thought , a new dimension of consciousness .

No longer it controls you .

You will experience gaps . Starting as shorter and they will grow .

This is the beginning of your natural state .

With practice the sense of peace

Joy of being arises from deep within , which is not trance .

you are much more alert , awake than the mind

As you go into the realm of the NO MIND

In that state you feel your own presence with so much joy , the world becomes insignificant , its not selfish but selfless state .

Raises your vibrations .

That presence is you above all .

2. PRESENT MOMENT : draw consciousness away from the thinker and create a gap of no mind , in which you are highly alert and aware but not thinking

its the essence of meditation .

 

Give fullest attention to an activity like walking down the stairs pay attention to your movement , stairs . When washing hands feel all the sense of soap , water .

Criteria to test this is the degree of peace you feel .

 

LEARN TO DISIDENTIFY FROM YOUR MIND .
CREATE A GAP
ONE DAY YOU MAY CATCH YOURSELF LAUGHING AT YOUR MIND AND THINKING .
AS YOU WOULD SMILE TO ANTICS OF A CHILD

Your sense of self doesn’t depend on your thinking .

Your mind is a tool ,an instrument pick it up do the work and leave .

SERIOUS LEAKAGE OF ENERGY IS CAUSED BY YOUR THINKING . IT SEEMS STRONGER THAN YOU . IT GIVES YOU SOME SORT OF PLEASURE WHICH INVARIABLY TURNS INTO PAIN

TO THE EGO THE PRESENT DOESN’T EVEN EXIST ONLY PAST AND THE FUTURE WHICH IS SO REVERSIBLE .

EGO CAN ONLY BE KEPT GOING BY CONSTANT THINKING .

One day when this or that happens i will be happy , fulfilled …

Ego forces to constantly think about the future for its survival

Even the present it sees through the past .

The ego tries to aim at its survival .

THE PRESENT HOLDS THE KEY TO LIBERATION .

YOU CANT FIND PRESENT UNTILL YOU ARE YOUR MIND .

You derive your sense of self from your identity .

WITHOUT THOUGHT WHO AM I ?

Next Stage : Thinking and consciousness are not synonyms

Consciousness doesn’t mean thought .

YOU ARE FREE OF INTERNAL DIALOUGUE .

When you need to be creative , you switch between mind and no mind , that is the only way to be creative .

The thought becomes destructive when not oscillated between mind and no mind , mind is a surviving machine . its not great at being creative .

Breakthrough came from scientists when no mind .

Einstein : thinking is only a sub ordinal part .

The more we realise and learn about our body we see how vast it really is , our dna contains information that can be stored in 1000 , 600 pages books

we know very little , when we combine our mind with that it serves a greater .

 

EMOTIONS : Emotion arises when body and mind meet , reflection of mind on your body .

When you are not connected with your consciousness , it manifests as a physical thing .

If you really want to know your mind , focus on your body .

Conflict would show the truth . The true feeling reflects in the body .

You can be aware of it .

You can allow the emotion to be there and not be affected by it . All you are is the one observing .

Once this becomes a practice , your unconscious will present itself .

AN EMOTION SHOWS THE AMPLIFIED THOUGHT . It wants to take you over and usually succeeds . The emotion temporarily becomes you .
The thought Keeps feeding emotion and emotion the thought becoming a cycle .

Thought feeds the energy to the emotion .

Basically all emotions are originated from one undifferentiated emotion that has its origin in the thought of not knowing or being aware of who you are .

fear also includes Abandonment other than just danger .

It can be identified as pain ,brain focuses on eliminating pain , but all it can achieve is temporary . In fact the harder the mind struggles to fight it the more the pain .

You will not be free from the pain unless you detach from ego .

EMOTION LITERALLY MEANS DISTURBANCE .

 

LOVE , PEACE have no opposite they are deep connections .

JOY is a pleasure of the side of pain – pleasure cycle

Pleasure today will give you pain or its absence will .

Even before you have freed yourself from your mind ,you will still have glimpses of immense joy .

Even when the sky is over clouded the sun hasn’t disappeared .

Sun being the love and peace and the cloud being your mind

pain and suffering arise from desire or cravings .

All that a desire is mind seeing pleasure and fulfilment in something external .

As long as I am my mind , I am those cravings .

Just be there , be the Buddha don’t quote him .

Humans have always been in pain , coz of they have stopped being .

Emotional pain is the cause of all disease .

Every pleasure contains the seed of pain , they are opposites .

How easily and quickly an intimate relationship can turn into a painful relationship .

There are two levels of your pain :

Pain you create now

Pain you have carried from your past .

To be followed by other parts very soon !

Thanks for reading 😀

 

self help

10 Expectations to let go to be Happy !

Here’s a quick blog post –

Dealing with expectations :

We go through life expecting and that’s okay but sometimes too many expectations can lead to too many disappointments .

Desire to have no desire is still a desire .

Sometimes having too many expectations can lead to suffering .

When you expect less you become happier .

Resistance is generated , it makes it harder .

We must allow for it come .

1. STOP EXPECTING PEOPLE WILL LOVE YOU THE SAME WAY YOU LOVE THEM .

– Don’t expect that coz you love someone so much in a relationship they will love you the same .
– When you expect less you become happier .
– It’s hard sometimes but i love someone coz i choose to , when you choose to give love you become happier . It’s like an unconditional love .
– Give love and don’t expect it to come back .

2. DON’T EXPECT AN OVERNIGHT SUCCESS

– Enjoy the process , not just the destination .
– We live in an instant gratification society .
– Stop saying i want , start doing , moving .
– work every single day , everyday that’s how success is done , it takes time .
– success becomes a bi product of your daily practice .

 

3. STOP EXPECTING PERMANENT PLEASURE

– No one is always happy , everyone experiences a number of emotions , realize is happiness is ephemeral , we came on earth to experience a whole range of emotions.
sometimes angry , sometimes sad .
– Emotion is energy in motion

4. STOP EXPECTING TO BE PERFECT

– When you let go of perfection , you become happier .
– perfectionism comes from our insecurities .
– Be Honest , why so serious ? we just having fun .
– Loose perfectionism we move into authenticity .

 

5. STOP TRYING TO GET A BODY YOU SEE IN THE MAGAZINE

– I wanted that till I realised what Photoshop could do .
– we expect to have a body we see in the billboard .
– They don’t even look like themselves.
– LOVE YOUR BODY
– Stop comparing .

6. BE A TRUE GIVER

– Give and give and give and give and get nothing back in return but it will still feel great .
– Stop expecting to get what you give .

7. STOP EXPECTING THAT PEOPLE WILL NEVER CHANGE IN A RELATIONSHIP

– People can change .
– People can change like the weather .
– we are evolving .

8. STOP EXPECTING THAT YOUR FAMILY WILL GET YOU

– Not everybody in your family will get your crazy / beautiful lifestyle .
– Everybody sees life so differently  .

9. STOP EXPECTING THAT EVERYBODY WILL RESPECT YOUR GIFTS

– Some people will just walk past your show .
– don’t let anybody dim your light .

10. STOP EXPECTING THE WORLD TO CHANGE BEFORE YOU DO

– We are the world
– As you change the world also changes .
– create the peace in yourself first
– Once you change the world changes around you .

Uncategorized

HOW TO STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER

One minute people love you and the next moment they don’t even love themselves

quote-Anne-Hathaway-theres-something-very-addictive-about-people-pleasing-88691

 

People who suffer from anxiety are frequently “people pleasers” who fear conflict

I have realized i get a lot of anxiety because of this .

People pleasing is not necessarily  bad , it can be amazing .

It is very natural to want to make people happy .

In the old days if you don’t make people happy you will be out of the group , wandering the forest alone and won’t be able to eat today . Pleasing everyone was necessary for survival .

But it is bad if your effort to make others like you is more than the joy in actually doing whatever you are doing .

Key is to learn to love yourself first .

Here are 11 ways I learnt that can help us stop being a people pleaser

1.UNDERSTAND THAT PEOPLE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT

Most people don’t know what they want

They aren’t happy with you ? It ain’t got nothing to do with you .

Fill in your own cup .

2. LOVE YOURSELF

(Will do a whole blog post on this ASAP)

Loving yourself 100% the is secret to becoming your greatest version

If you don’t love yourself you will have low self esteem , low self confidence and you find yourself walking around trying to fulfil demands of people who don’t even know what they want .

Affirmation : Most people don’t know what they want hence i don’t have to try so hard to give them  what they want .

3. DO YOU

Do whatever makes you feel happy everyday .

This happiness that exudes you from you , people around you get a part of it and that is how you help them too .

Be proud of what you are eating .
– It makes you proud
– Self appreciation
– Authentic

Sometimes we feel uncomfortable to be proud it makes people uncomfortable hence not something we want to do . We need to understand there is nothing wrong in being confident , just be humble .

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BE HUMBLE

Humble confidence – BE PROUD

People will either accept you or walk away and we don’t care about people walking away .

4. DECIDE

Decide who you are living for ?

Who are you living for ? yourself or someone else ?

FORGET WHAT EVERYONE SAYS AND START LISTENING TO YOURSELF .

Listen to that small voice inside you . Loose your memory .

5. LOOSE FILTERS

We filter our life everyday.

example :
I don’t look good
– you have no idea what it does to your subconscious mind .

So stop filtering your reality from other peoples perspectives.

6. RIGHT PEOPLE WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE

You don’t have to change for people who love you .

People who will love you will love you for who you are .

Don’t try to change yourself to make other people comfortable .

7. DON’T CHASE THE LIKES

Don’t do anything for virality ,do whatever you want to do , whatever resonates with you .

Likes are also an illusion , one minute people love you and the other moment they don’t even love themselves .

8. FIND BALANCE

Find a balance where you please people and yourself .

Please yourself first .

Honour pleasing yourself first .

“Monkey see Monkey do”

Don’t be a monkey .

Honour your own style first .

9. ASK YOURSELF

In a 100 years will this really matter ?

You pleased this person that person and you weren’t happy OR you were happy and nobody cared about it ?

I would love the latter

WHY ?
– I will create a Positive Environment in myself .
– Create more Health within myself .

 

10 . REALISE

If you can see whatever you do is working then you don’t have to care about everyone else .

If it’s working for you , fuck the rest .

If you are creating abundance for yourself then jokes on them .

 

11. HANG AROUND WITH PEOPLE YOU DON’T HAVE TO IMPRESS EVERY 3 sec

Friends who enjoy your silence as much as you speaking  are your real friends . Find such amazing people !

 

 

LINK TO AN AMAZING VIDEO I GOT THE IDEAS FROM : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mtylq30kbBo

self help

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE – FIVE SECONDS AT A TIME !

KEY IDEAS BY MEL ROBBINS ( AUTHOR OF THE 5 SECOND RULE)

 

Mel-Robbins

MOTIVATION IS GARBAGE

At some point we bought into this lie
1. we need to be ready to change
2. at some point we will have the courage

It’s all BS .

The way we are wired and designed , we aren’t supposed to do things that are difficult , hard , uncomfortable our brain is trying to protect you from it .

You’re only motivated to do easy things .

The way our minds are designed is to stop from doing anything that might hurt you . We all have a habit of hesitating .

We have an incredible idea , instead of saying it we HESITATE .This sends a stress signal to your brain .
So your brain goes to work to stop you from doing this thing .

THE SPOTLIGHT EFFECT

Brain magnifies the risk to pull you away from something it perceives to be a problem .

We can truly trace every single problem or complain in your life to silence and hesitation .

A) Stop waiting to feel like doing something
B) I am one decision away from improving relationship with your spouse , child …

Your life comes down to decisions , Change your decisions and you can change your life.

MICRO MOMENTS THAT CONTROL YOUR LIFE

In scheme of life hitting snooze is not a big deal
No one wakes up one day and says today is the day i destroy my life .

What we do is :
check out because
1) It is Overwhelming
2) It is Scary
3) We give into Self doubt

So we make a lot of these small decisions all day long :
– not wake up on time
– eat anything
and so many more

It’s these micro moments that get compounded over time .

KNOWLEDGE ACTION TRAP

You get TRAPPED in KNOWLEDGE – ACTION trap .

We all can know what to do , we are just one google search away .

 

If you are stuck it all starts with knowing what to do but don’t feel like doing it .

We all have had a time where on a night we decide
Tomorrow everything will change
I will go to the gym
Do everything ..
Tomorrow is the new me !!!
and then you wake up you don’t feel like it , Motivation? it is not there .

 

THE 5 SECOND RULE

The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal , count backwards 5,4,3,2,1
Then physically move before your brain can kill your instinct to act .
5..4..3..2…1 LAUNCH !!

Rocket-Launch-for-rocket-scientist-blog_8.22.11

That is how you beat a habit .

When you know what to do you have about a five second window , you can move from idea to action .

Your brain is trying to stop you . In the smallest moment you take action before your brain steps in and stops you .

This shows you have the choice from going to auto pilot to what you WANT to do .

Why does something so silly works ?

yeah-science-bitch-meme

Science on why 5 second rule works :

You can outsmart your brain , in furtherness of a higher purpose . You can jump in a river to save your son .
When you count backwards 5..4..3…2..1 you are interrupting your habit loop and it moves and awakens your pre-frontal cortex from your basal ganglia .

By doing so you have interrupted :
self doubt
desire to go for a drink
procrastination

By awaking pre frontal cortex you have given control the part that is required when you are changing behaviour .

When you hit 1 it’s also a prompt .

5 second rule when repeated becomes a starting ritual .

Starting ritual : proven to develop a habit

5 second rule triggers you to understand this is a moment of courage , moment of consciousness .

Counting back also requires to focus hence asserting control .

OVERCOMING THE HABITS OF WORRYING , ANXIETY AND SELF DOUBT

We can control our mind using this rule . We can use 5 second rule to cure anxiety .

5 second rule for anxiety :

Anxiety is habit of worrying spirals out of control .It starts manifesting with physical sensations too .
MELs STORY :
– Struggled with anxiety for most of her life .
– Was put on medication(xolof) .
– Her anxiety was so bad she couldn’t even be left alone with her first child .

 

How do you stop worrying ?

When you are not paying attention your brain starts to go on auto pilot and one of your habits is worrying . The second you wake up and realise “I am taking real negative bullshit to myself right now ”
Now you count 5…4…3..2..1

After this you are ready to receive an anchor : Maybe a mantra , a goal or any positive visualisation INSERT that .

Why does this work :
Because of counting . It’s not easy to switch channel .With counting you switch to your pre frontal cortex and now are ready to have a new channel.

5..4..3..2..1 get back to your visualisation of toasting to your success ,this is a tool .

You get used to worrying , you start living in agitated state .

Also in your body being excited is same state as being fucking excited .
The only difference between excitement and anxiety is what your brain tells you .

 

A Harvard study proves whenever you are about to go to do something that gets your heart racing tell yourself : I am excited
Do this so your brain doesn’t go berserk .

Ask yourself :
Why am i ready ?
Why am i excited ?

Forcing yourself to answer this to convince yourself .

Anxiety is what happens when worrying spins out of control ,your body gets agitated and you let your brain convert it into a panic attack .

It’s thesame feeling when you almost hit a car or someone on the road and for a moment your heart is racing , you are sweating .. and when the car just switches lane and your crash is avoided, it’s all good again .

Panic attack is a similar feeling but you get it while making coffee .

Your brain doesn’t understand it now it has a problem . Why it happened to you .

Your brain is there to solve your problem , so now your brains spotlight effect takes control and magnify and look for what’s wrong with you . Usually we have two responses you either feel you are dying or you have the deer in front of a headlight effect and just want to run out of that situation . This is the spotlight effect taking control and getting yourself out .

 

So you use 5 second rule to stabilize you thought .

If i am excited doesn’t work just go 5..4..3..2..1 and put in an anchor thought , put an image of you being perfectly fine or anything that shifts your focus on something good .
“We are flawed and that’s the beauty of who you are”

Instead of trying to make yourself perfect in all areas .

Mel : “If i were diabetic i would take insulin , i happen to be wired for anxiety ,no big deal . Don’t fight it ,instead figure out how to trick it “

You can ALWAYS make a DECISION .

Change comes down to 5 second decision .

Oprah , Branson , Jay – Z it doesn’t matter WHO you are you will have self doubt .

These people do not have a habit of hesitating .

 

Thanks a lot for reading this . Follow these not so easy but simple steps and start changing your life 5 seconds at a time .

For more on this do check out Mel’s amazing new book .

LINKS :

Tom Bilyeu interviews Mel Robbins[STRONGLY RECOMMENDED] : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCHPSo79rB4&t=2s

Mel’s new book The 5 Second Rule : http://amzn.to/2kNn4Rp

The definition of habit loops : http://stanford.io/2k2YdtH

The spotlight effect: http://bit.ly/2kdu5OJ

Metacognition, or thinking about what you’re thinking: http://bit.ly/2kcWfZN

Animated book review : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEdNNEqiA_w

self help

WHY I AM STARTING A BLOG

1. I want to document my thoughts .

2. I believe blogging would motivate me to learn more , share more , do more and stay on my journey of constant and never ending improvement .

3. I will share my progress ,learn whatever I need to learn to improve on these areas and keep growing .

4. Improve my writing and be able to put things out more clearly .